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“My husband and I couldn’t get pregnant, and we used a fertility clinic. At my first scan, when I found out I was pregnant, it was a happy moment, but I found out I was pregnant with triplets. Immediately, my doctor went pale, and said, ‘This is not good. I’m so sorry. Look, there is risk that you might lose the whole pregnancy. There is a high risk that they will not develop properly. It’s just very rare and difficult for a woman to carry three kids.’
We spoke with our doctor and a specialist, and he also recommended what they call a ‘reduction’—to reduce the pregnancy by one baby. It was not a part of my beliefs—not how I was raised—but we had two weeks to make the decision. Eventually, and unfortunately, we made this terrible decision to reduce by one baby. After that, I gave birth to healthy twins. The first year, I was not even thinking about it to be honest. Then the regret started. I started crying and had depression. It went on and on for months and months. I felt such a deep sorrow and a guilt. I was just miserable.
My husband was researching how to help me, and he came across Rachel’s Vineyard. I was skeptical in the beginning and felt like nothing would be able to help me. I felt like I would be miserable, guilty, and crying for the rest of my life. I didn’t know what to expect, but it changed my life. It was an unforgettable weekend. Since that retreat, I am at peace. I experienced God’s love and forgiveness. I have started my new life, and I am back to the Catholic faith, which I stopped practicing for many years before.
I wish other women knew how terrible it is to have to go through this. I want to shout to them, ‘Do not do it! Do not fall for it!’ I just wish from the bottom of my heart I could turn back time, but I can’t, so I just wish that no other woman would have to go through it—an abortion. But if they do, I believe Rachel’s Vineyard will change their life.”
At the request of this mom, we are not sharing her face or name. She had an abortion at the request of her doctors while 13 weeks pregnant with triplets.
There is hope after having an abortion. Project Rachel and Rachel’s Vineyard provide healing to men and women who have been emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually impacted by an abortion. For confidential, non-judgmental help, please call or text the helpline at (407) 222-8584.